Resumé
Resumé
Enhanced for maximum statement-making.
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And from that one statement, you have communicated technical knowledge, most likely grounded in a firm understanding of logic, math, and their practical application in the realm of computing. You have also both communicated and demonstrated economy, efficiency, clarity, a particular style of direct wittiness, and a knack for memorable communication that makes you stand out from the crowd. There is an implicit respect for your audience and an invitation for them to respect you, as turning in a resumé would hopefully be something done by qualified applicants (and hopefully they would extend that respect, since if you were the sort of applicant who needed a padded, misleading, or outright fraudulent resumé, that is probably what you would have sent) and you are respecting them by applying as an applicant who meets the specified minimum qualifications, and thus respects their time and attention by communicating the one essential statement that you believe communicates a professional level of skill and knowledge that makes you a top-tier candidate for a position and communicates the rest through format, presentation, and the expectation that anyone able to discern whether a candidate is qualified should know the background and basis for your ability to make that one statement truthfully. That person would only need a short phone interview to tell if you were completely bullshitting that line, and otherwise could cut to the chase in any follow-up interview without unnecessarily using up either your or their time.
Or, the resumé could be glanced at by a harried and rather dim HR peon and considered, dismissed, and forgotten in approximately the same span of time that it took to print the resumé. In that case, verbosity probably wouldn’t have helped and the hiring establishment would likely be an unpleasant place to work.
Either way, this resumé is a top example of the form, as well as an efficient use of time and resources. I hope you used it for at least one application, as I believe that it could be an extremely effective resumé for job-getting, relieving the soul-killing despair and tedium of looking for employment — as well as the soul-killing despair and tedium of reviewing job applicants. A win for everyone who interacts with the resumé, even if it’s a few close friends of yours likely to appreciate the joke and then random strangers on the internet.